Last night we danced the Rumba! Wow this show is a huge challenge for me! I really thought I did a good job! But the judges thought differently!

I was really trying to break down what I am doing wrong. The fact that I have never performed before in front of anyone—let alone 25 million people—is a huge accomplishment to me when the dance is done because I am so out of my element here, and it feels like such a rush when we are dancing!

This show is teaching me a lot! When talking to Reggie about it, he made a good point, that I have never played a sport where I would win or lose a game, I have never competed against anyone before where I would be judged, and just learning all of this is teaching me more about ME!

Although I am learning choreography and spending hours in the dance studio, I think I am learning so much more about myself than I ever imagined. So at the end of the day, this is such a life changing experience.

To be honest last week, I cried so hard when I got home, just knowing this is SO hard for me and I really am trying—but my inner shyness is making it look like I am just not trying. I think I took it way to seriously and I was a nervous wreck on Wednesday.

This week I am just having more fun with it and haven’t really let the judges comments hurt me. I feel that in life when challenges come your way, sometimes God tests you, and wants you to learn, because that is what life is about! I hope the plan he has for me is to stay in a little bit longer, because I don’t think I have learned everything there is to learn from Dancing With The Stars yet!

I haven’t quiet come out of my shell and I so badly want to! Each dance gets easier for me but I’m not ready to give up on this inner challenge that I’m faced with by a simple dance! I know it seems silly that dancing is this big of an inner struggle but it is and I so badly want to overcome it and have fun with it all at the same time! This show is a blessing and I hope you all are just enjoying this journey with me!

It was great to have my dad’s side of the family there to watch and support! My cousins Kourtni and Kara Kardashian came with my cousins Chey and Julie. I definitely felt the love!

My friend Caroline D’Amore also came to support!